Unicorns and all that jazz

1. The Queen Bee mum - She is top dog. She has the power to make or break you in the community. She arranges the majority of groups, classes, workshops. Admins many FB groups. Is an idol to many, the Don if you will, of your local Home Ed mafia. 2. The Side kick mum - The Queen Bee's right hand woman. She is the MI5 of Home Ed. She knows your business before you do. Everyone is wary of her as one little whisper back to the Queen Bee can finish you. 3. The "I know my rights!" mum - A walking encyclopedia of Legal knowledge regarding all things HE. Can be very helpful to the community but can also be beyond annoying by constantly threatening or advising to take legal action. Because she knows her rights! 4. The Hippy mum- Of course. She's so out there and free! In touch with nature and mindfulness. Her child is vegan, never eaten sugar or watched tv , we must know and appreciate this. By being all about love, the planet and tie dye, she is superior to...

Something that is very common in this new millennium is blended families. Step, half, full; even close friends can be classed as family when your own blood abandons or lets you down. Children with more than one partner is a regular occurrence (for both men and women). If you have read my previous blog - Baby Mama  - then you will know that I am one of these women, having 2 children by 2 different men. My children know and understand they have different fathers but as far as they are concerned, they are just sisters. There is no half in the equation. They fight like sisters, joke like sisters and love each other like sisters. They have the same childhood, they have the same family, same experiences and as they grow older, the same memories. Even on the days when they are physically beating each other, screaming and shouting, their relationship with each other is beautiful to me. And it reminds me of how different my relationship is with my own siblings. I am th...

As I am now  in my thirties, I can officially be classed as a cougar. These days we are constantly told that "age ain't nothing but a number" and that you can love whomever you want to as long as they are of a legal age. I have always gravitated towards older men myself but the stigma of an older woman dating a younger man is long gone and hot ladies (cougars, milfs) dating fit young men is pretty much seen as the norm. Now, I know as well as you do that I'm missing the "hot" part of being a cougar; and I've never been called a milf in my life! But I still had a crack at it! And as always it didn't quite work out for me....,., I was 29 talking to "K" who said he was 27. Ok, fair enough I thought. Get involved with some cougar action, why not? Things were going well, we arranged to meet. I was driving up to the designated meeting point and there is no way this boy is 27. He looked like his pictures sure enough and I get that some people...

I was reading a FB thread on a parenting page recently and one comment stood out to me- "I don't buy into all this autism stuff! People were never autistic in my day. It's a new fad for people who have naughty kids and can't control them" Erm... Bish what?! It wasn't diagnosed in "your" day purely because of the lack of medical research. Autism was still present just not diagnosed. A friend of mine Gaynor, has recently been diagnosed as autistic. I'm sure she won't mind me sharing her age with you; Gaynor is 50 years old. Her whole life she has been autistic. Through the 70's, 80's and 90's, Gaynor was autistic. So the ignorant comments that autism is a millennial thing are false. When she was the bullied, unpopular, odd kid. When she struggled with friendships and relationships. Her diagnosis suddenly meant that her life, who she is and how she is- made sense. In comparison my daughter Dolly was flagged up as autistic at a ...

This blog is a little different in that it wasn't just a date but a relationship. A very short lived one! But a relationship none the less. J lived a few doors down from my friend, who I visited regularly. We had smiled at each other once or twice but that was it. Until one day my friend called me to say J had asked if I was single. I asked my friend to write him a note for me with my number on and post it through his door. Aww, a teenage romance I hear you say! Nope. I was 27. He called me that same day and although we had little in common, I thought he was ok and so it began.... After  a few days I realised we didn't have little in common, we actually had nothing in common. He bored me and I annoyed him; it was obvious from the start. He had an obsession with his car, not letting my kids in it in case it got dirty, washing it at least 3 times a week. We decided we wanted to go to winter wonderland at hyde park but as my kids weren't allowed in his car, we had to ask ...

This date actually happened a few years ago. I met T on POF.  His messages were sometimes written in very broken English so I asked him where he was from; he replied that he was from Hackney and just hated typing messages. Fair enough I thought. One evening I was child free. My friend... I'd best not use her real name... lets call her Smelen, arrived at my door, also child free. We were young, free and single so decided to go on a double date! T had been asking to see me so I messaged him asking if he was free? He was and so was his friend. We agreed to meet at the local leisure park and I asked for his phone number in case there was a problem or we were running late. It should have been my first red flag that he was SO hesitant to let me have it... So we were all tarted up and on our way to the Leisure park. I'd worn heels and was teetering about, top heavy with a throbbing bunion but I felt good! Until we missed the train because of my very slow teetering. I called him t...

I was reading a thread on FB and it got me thinking about my own situation. Am I a typical "Baby mama"? Am I a bitter woman who uses my children as a weapon?...  I have 2 children by 2 different dads. Now society is far more tolerant about this sort of thing and sadly, it's almost the norm nowadays to have children by multiple partners. But a huge amount of the comments on the thread I was reading were scathing about it. Is that how I'm seen? Someone who couldn't keep her legs shut? A woman who tried to trap a man by becoming pregnant? Looking for a cash cow for 18 years? It saddens me to think that could be how I am seen by some because that is not who I am. I never talk about my childrens fathers and I'm never really asked. I'm not ashamed of how my children came to be but perhaps I should be, I don't know. All I know is they're here and they're mine. I met Tanisha's dad at a laundrette in Leyton when I lived in Walthamstow. He wasn...

I had a babysitter and I was doing it. I was going on a date. I'd met S on POF (plenty of fish dating site). He seemed nice, a hard worker, ok banter. I'd cancelled 5 dates we had arranged over the past 3 months and if I didn't want him to give up on me, that night had to happen. I was getting ready and I received a text - I'm too tired to drive. U come here. I'm not going to lie, I was annoyed. I'd wanted a glass of wine  but that was out the window now I had to drive. It bothered me he'd left it so late but I decided to be cool about it. I finished getting ready and off I went, dolled up anticipating a lovely meal out. Cruising optimistically to the picturesque town of Dunstable... I arrived and he walked over to my car. Wearing crappy jogging bottoms, sagging ridiculously low and a t-shirt with some very suspicious looking stains. There went my hopes for a nice meal. Instead he informed me we were going for a romantic walk. Around a rough council estat...

My first born and my first love is Tanisha. She is 13 and really not your typical teenager for this generation. She's quiet and shy which means people don't realise how hilarious she is. The girl is funny. Her passions are horses, knitting, crochet and sewing (told you she wasn't your typical teenager!)  She is talented, creative, empathetic. She doesn't follow trends and the only boys she cares about are 4 legged (geldings) She is my perfect chubby babes and I realise by calling her perfect I put a huge amount of pressure on her to live up to it! I don't mean to. But she is everything I wish I had been and I'm a sad old bag and want to live vicariously through her. My second daughter and tiny baby is Dolly. Or Dolores if we have to be official or fancy. She is 9 and the polar opposite of her sister. Loud, confident, popular, excels at anything sporty. Life looks like it comes so easily to her! But it doesn't. ASD (autism) learning difficulties,...

So who am I? A question I don't ever think about really. I'm a mum. A single mum. A Home Educating mum. A mum of a child with disabilities.  A broke mum. A fat mum! I'm NOT a yummy mummy but I'm always striving to be a good mum. But boy, surely I'm more than just that?! I know I was 15 years ago. Ok, I'm a friend too. I only have about 2 friends if I'm honest (quality over quantity, thank you very much) But I know I'm a good friend. I'm someone who struggles with their weight and is starting their millionth weightloss journey. I'm someone who is single, has been for years and probably will be for many more. I'm an animal lover, vegetarian (yes, some of us are obese! shock horror!) We own ponies, a very handsome dog and 2 kitty cats. I'm lazy. I'm rude. Sometimes bad tempered. I'm someone who'd love to save the planet but consistently forgets to bring my whimsical tote bags to Tesco (they are  ridiculously expensive by th...