10 types of Home Educating ( Home Schooling) Mums

1. The Queen Bee mum- She is top dog. She has the power to make or break you in the community. She arranges the majority of groups, classes, workshops. Admins many FB groups. Is an idol to many, the Don if you will, of your local Home Ed mafia.


2. The Side kick mum- The Queen Bee's right hand woman. She is the MI5 of Home Ed. She knows your business before you do. Everyone is wary of her as one little whisper back to the Queen Bee can finish you.

3. The "I know my rights!" mum- A walking encyclopedia of Legal knowledge regarding all things HE. Can be very helpful to the community but can also be beyond annoying by constantly threatening or advising to take legal action. Because she knows her rights!

4. The Hippy mum- Of course. She's so out there and free! In touch with nature and mindfulness. Her child is vegan, never eaten sugar or watched tv , we must know and appreciate this. By being all about love, the planet and tie dye, she is superior to us e- number consumers and you will usually find her proudly breastfeeding her 10 year old at groups, daring one of us to "breast shame". Which never happens. But it does gross me out. And of course the kid isn't really 10 (but still old enough to chew steak)

5.The School hating mum- Is vocal on her hate for all schools and teaching staff. Posts constantly on social media about how her child is more clever/creative/talented than school children. Can put your back up but you can understand (to an extent) her anger if her child has been severely let down by the education system.

6. The Toddler mum- Regularly asks for advice on curriculum for her 18mth old. Or embryo in the womb. Likes to shock by telling people she HE's her child. Brings said child to groups to scream, cry and ruin it for everyone. Fails to realise that she is just parenting until a child is of legal school age (5 in the UK)

7. The Clueless mum- This is me. Bit of an outsider,  face doesn't fit. Constantly late, forgetful, disorganised. Usually a single mum who works or has other things going on so her whole world doesn't revolve around HE. Always slightly stressed and sweaty when arriving at groups. Has a look on her face that says she is not quite sure what's going on. Generally just a bit crap.

8. The Christian mum- this one actually splits into 2 camps. The lovely, just really good person , who's faith is so great that it makes you feel sad that you don't have it, and wonder if a relationship with God would fill the hole in you that you usually try and fill with junk food. A popular mum with usually popular kids. Then there is the 'everyone is going to hell' Christian mum. Intolerant, mostly avoided and believes science is the Devils work. Not a cool mum.

9.The Martyr mum-This mum has every ailment and illness  known to man. And/or there is constant drama in her personal life.   Lets everyone know that she is suffering but doesn't like to complain... Posts many social media posts about how hard everything is and her comments section has many "poor you huns" and " I don't know how you do it and you never moan!" Except she does. Constantly.

10. The Einstein mum- Usually older, married, has a PHD, travelled the world. The Einstein mum will tell anyone who will listen that her child is gifted or a genius. Constant posts on social media about her 7yr old finishing Tolstoy greatest works and begging to go the opera over watching spongebob. When you see the child at group it is usually the one with a pencil/finger jammed up his or her nose, looking totally bewildered.

So that's my top 10. Not based on anyone in particular and all tongue in cheek! I have labelled this as Home Educators but I'm sure you can find these types of mama's just as easily at the school gates!