Unicorns and all that jazz

Something that is very common in this new millennium is blended families. Step, half, full; even close friends can be classed as family when your own blood abandons or lets you down. Children with more than one partner is a regular occurrence (for both men and women). If you have read my previous blog - Baby Mama  - then you will know that I am one of these women, having 2 children by 2 different men. My children know and understand they have different fathers but as far as they are concerned, they are just sisters. There is no half in the equation. They fight like sisters, joke like sisters and love each other like sisters. They have the same childhood, they have the same family, same experiences and as they grow older, the same memories. Even on the days when they are physically beating each other, screaming and shouting, their relationship with each other is beautiful to me. And it reminds me of how different my relationship is with my own siblings. I am th...

My Mum and her husband have been married for 10 years, together for more than that. It feels strange to call him my step dad as we are very close in age (he is only a few years my senior) but if you were to picture what a good step dad is and does - you would be picturing him. Dave has always been there for my girls and I. They call him Grandad and he proudly lets them. He is involved in every aspect of their lives and his approval means more to them than anyone else's, even mine. He is their only male role model and they couldn't have a better one. It made me so happy when one day,  my eldest daughter said she is going to marry a man exactly like her Grandad- hard working, kind, strong and all about family. Dave is the first person I call when something terrible happens as he always knows the answer. I am a never ending disaster and he has never judged me. In all the years he has been around, Dave has only shouted at me once. One time! When I hit a parked car and drove away, I...

We sort of just fell into HE (Home Ed). It wasn't a life long dream or for religious or political reasons. It was because we had to. I made a split second decision and did it. Then crapped my pants. But I needn't have! Listen, I get it's not for everyone. It's not the norm and if it isn't the norm then in most peoples eyes, it's wrong. I don't want to convert anyone or be self righteous- it just works for us. Every child deserves the right to an education and my children get a good one! Just not at school. Is it illegal??  No. All children are HE by default. As parents we opt into school. How do they socialise??  When they are lucky enough to be let out of my cupboard under the stairs, I sometimes let them look at children playing outside through the window ... Seriously, when do they NOT socialise? Home Ed is different to Home school. I don't recreate school in my front room and chain them to a desk for 6 hours straight. We are out at groups, class...

I was reading a FB thread on a parenting page recently and one comment stood out to me- "I don't buy into all this autism stuff! People were never autistic in my day. It's a new fad for people who have naughty kids and can't control them" Erm... Bish what?! It wasn't diagnosed in "your" day purely because of the lack of medical research. Autism was still present just not diagnosed. A friend of mine Gaynor, has recently been diagnosed as autistic. I'm sure she won't mind me sharing her age with you; Gaynor is 50 years old. Her whole life she has been autistic. Through the 70's, 80's and 90's, Gaynor was autistic. So the ignorant comments that autism is a millennial thing are false. When she was the bullied, unpopular, odd kid. When she struggled with friendships and relationships. Her diagnosis suddenly meant that her life, who she is and how she is- made sense. In comparison my daughter Dolly was flagged up as autistic at a ...

I was reading a thread on FB and it got me thinking about my own situation. Am I a typical "Baby mama"? Am I a bitter woman who uses my children as a weapon?...  I have 2 children by 2 different dads. Now society is far more tolerant about this sort of thing and sadly, it's almost the norm nowadays to have children by multiple partners. But a huge amount of the comments on the thread I was reading were scathing about it. Is that how I'm seen? Someone who couldn't keep her legs shut? A woman who tried to trap a man by becoming pregnant? Looking for a cash cow for 18 years? It saddens me to think that could be how I am seen by some because that is not who I am. I never talk about my childrens fathers and I'm never really asked. I'm not ashamed of how my children came to be but perhaps I should be, I don't know. All I know is they're here and they're mine. I met Tanisha's dad at a laundrette in Leyton when I lived in Walthamstow. He wasn...

My first born and my first love is Tanisha. She is 13 and really not your typical teenager for this generation. She's quiet and shy which means people don't realise how hilarious she is. The girl is funny. Her passions are horses, knitting, crochet and sewing (told you she wasn't your typical teenager!)  She is talented, creative, empathetic. She doesn't follow trends and the only boys she cares about are 4 legged (geldings) She is my perfect chubby babes and I realise by calling her perfect I put a huge amount of pressure on her to live up to it! I don't mean to. But she is everything I wish I had been and I'm a sad old bag and want to live vicariously through her. My second daughter and tiny baby is Dolly. Or Dolores if we have to be official or fancy. She is 9 and the polar opposite of her sister. Loud, confident, popular, excels at anything sporty. Life looks like it comes so easily to her! But it doesn't. ASD (autism) learning difficulties,...