Fat Girl Dating - Part 1
I had a babysitter and I was doing it. I was going on a date. I'd met S on POF (plenty of fish dating site). He seemed nice, a hard worker, ok banter. I'd cancelled 5 dates we had arranged over the past 3 months and if I didn't want him to give up on me, that night had to happen. I was getting ready and I received a text -
I'm too tired to drive. U come here.
I'm not going to lie, I was annoyed. I'd wanted a glass of wine but that was out the window now I had to drive. It bothered me he'd left it so late but I decided to be cool about it.
I finished getting ready and off I went, dolled up anticipating a lovely meal out. Cruising optimistically to the picturesque town of Dunstable... I arrived and he walked over to my car. Wearing crappy jogging bottoms, sagging ridiculously low and a t-shirt with some very suspicious looking stains. There went my hopes for a nice meal. Instead he informed me we were going for a romantic walk. Around a rough council estate. In Dunstable.
I was pissed off to be honest with you but I didn't cause a scene. And to be fair, it was even romantic in parts! Like when he violently shoved me out of the way to avoid stepping in a pile of dog crap on the pavement. That was nice.
We got back to the car park. I left mine there and hopped into his Honda Civic, at least he was treating me to a takeaway.... What kind of Chinese takeaway needs bars between the staff and customers?! I'm not ghetto, I'm not hard and at this point I was crapping myself. I really thought I was going to be robbed and murdered in a Chinese takeaway! In Dunstable.
But I survived. We hopped back in the civic, tunes blaring to draw everyone's attention to said civic and after a short drive we arrived at his home. Now although I'm fat and I was indeed hungry, I didn't get anything from the takeaway. For one it was dirty and two, after spending nearly £20 on his own bloody banquet, he didn't have any money left. So I went back to his for a glass of water and to watch him eat. Lucky me.
Long story short, a crack den is probably cleaner than his flat. It was rancid and I was so paranoid about the state of the glass, I didn't even drink my delicious tap water!
He finished his 12 course meal and flopped on the sofa next to me. Tv was youtube streamed from his games console- each episode lasting about 2 minutes because of copyright. He started edging closer and I told him I was too hot! Too much body heat! He kneeled up to open the window and his sagging bottoms sagged even lower. I was eye level with his pants. The elastic had clearly gone in them and they reminded me really badly of an adult nappy. He turned around and I didn't look away quick enough! He smiled and asked me if I liked what I saw? No. Just no.
He started edging closer "Are you gonna spend the night with me babes?"
I panicked! I had to get out of there. I didn't want to see what was in that grown man's nappy so I said the first thing that came in to my head " I can't. I've got to go home. I need a poo. Now!"
I was up and out that front door in seconds! Only relaxing when I saw the sign telling me I was leaving Dunstable.
Sadly, this was one of my more successful dates.
#ForeverAlone #BastardDunstable
I'm too tired to drive. U come here.
I'm not going to lie, I was annoyed. I'd wanted a glass of wine but that was out the window now I had to drive. It bothered me he'd left it so late but I decided to be cool about it.
I finished getting ready and off I went, dolled up anticipating a lovely meal out. Cruising optimistically to the picturesque town of Dunstable... I arrived and he walked over to my car. Wearing crappy jogging bottoms, sagging ridiculously low and a t-shirt with some very suspicious looking stains. There went my hopes for a nice meal. Instead he informed me we were going for a romantic walk. Around a rough council estate. In Dunstable.
I was pissed off to be honest with you but I didn't cause a scene. And to be fair, it was even romantic in parts! Like when he violently shoved me out of the way to avoid stepping in a pile of dog crap on the pavement. That was nice.
We got back to the car park. I left mine there and hopped into his Honda Civic, at least he was treating me to a takeaway.... What kind of Chinese takeaway needs bars between the staff and customers?! I'm not ghetto, I'm not hard and at this point I was crapping myself. I really thought I was going to be robbed and murdered in a Chinese takeaway! In Dunstable.
But I survived. We hopped back in the civic, tunes blaring to draw everyone's attention to said civic and after a short drive we arrived at his home. Now although I'm fat and I was indeed hungry, I didn't get anything from the takeaway. For one it was dirty and two, after spending nearly £20 on his own bloody banquet, he didn't have any money left. So I went back to his for a glass of water and to watch him eat. Lucky me.
Long story short, a crack den is probably cleaner than his flat. It was rancid and I was so paranoid about the state of the glass, I didn't even drink my delicious tap water!
He finished his 12 course meal and flopped on the sofa next to me. Tv was youtube streamed from his games console- each episode lasting about 2 minutes because of copyright. He started edging closer and I told him I was too hot! Too much body heat! He kneeled up to open the window and his sagging bottoms sagged even lower. I was eye level with his pants. The elastic had clearly gone in them and they reminded me really badly of an adult nappy. He turned around and I didn't look away quick enough! He smiled and asked me if I liked what I saw? No. Just no.
He started edging closer "Are you gonna spend the night with me babes?"
I panicked! I had to get out of there. I didn't want to see what was in that grown man's nappy so I said the first thing that came in to my head " I can't. I've got to go home. I need a poo. Now!"
I was up and out that front door in seconds! Only relaxing when I saw the sign telling me I was leaving Dunstable.
Sadly, this was one of my more successful dates.
#ForeverAlone #BastardDunstable
Oh my gosh, I would have turned around and driven off after seeing he turned up in jogging bottoms!.. I can see you are a pretty tolerant person!... I gave up on POF after the last one turned up and looked nothing like his hunky rippling biceps photo, he actually turned out to be about 4ft, balding and about 40 years older than that very hunky rippling biceps photo, although that is being kind as he had actually ripped a photo from google and passed himself off as a hunk.. rotfl... Although I was polite and actually spoke to him, if only to give him a bollocking for wasting my time as baby sitters do not come cheap!....
ReplyDeleteI feel you on that, have been catfished once or twice myself!x
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