Unicorns and all that jazz

1) If internet dating ALWAYS use a full body picture in your profile. No filters, no face tune and no pictures with friends- especially if your friends are super hot! I learned this lesson the hard way many years ago. I posted a pic of my gorgeous friend and I on my dating profile, only to receive a barrage of messages asking if she was on the site too.  Nobody likes a catfish. Don't be that girl. 2) On a first date, always try to wow them with your personality. Go for either clever or funny - be knowledgeable about a shared passion or topic. Make him belly laugh!  If you don't feel up to either of those then I recommend a super low cut top. I personally go for making them laugh, backed up with a lot of boob showing (just in case I'm not as funny as I think I am) 3) My go to first date setting is always a bar located in a leisure centre. Have a drink, suss it out. If there is no spark or conversation then luckily the cinema is usually right next door. You don't hav...

Egos. We've all got one. Some are bigger, some more fragile, some are more brazen and shown to the world. But I think we can all agree that in some way, shape or form - we all have an ego. And it can be tough when it takes a blow.  Especially when it's a fat girl who puts the mortal combat moves straight through it... I am not stunningly beautiful. I don't have a magical fanny and I have a gag reflex. Even my personality is a bit crap to be honest with you. So why is it that the men I've had in my life find it so hard when I decide to leave? Especially when none of them have really loved me. Ego. Whether they would like to admit it or not, the fat girl is supposed to be desperate. You're supposed to leave them, you're meant to not find them attractive not the other way around. It's a bitter pill to swallow when the person who society and the media say is unattractive and unworthy isn't interested in you. I last saw K nearly 18 months ago. I'd...

1. The Queen Bee mum - She is top dog. She has the power to make or break you in the community. She arranges the majority of groups, classes, workshops. Admins many FB groups. Is an idol to many, the Don if you will, of your local Home Ed mafia. 2. The Side kick mum - The Queen Bee's right hand woman. She is the MI5 of Home Ed. She knows your business before you do. Everyone is wary of her as one little whisper back to the Queen Bee can finish you. 3. The "I know my rights!" mum - A walking encyclopedia of Legal knowledge regarding all things HE. Can be very helpful to the community but can also be beyond annoying by constantly threatening or advising to take legal action. Because she knows her rights! 4. The Hippy mum- Of course. She's so out there and free! In touch with nature and mindfulness. Her child is vegan, never eaten sugar or watched tv , we must know and appreciate this. By being all about love, the planet and tie dye, she is superior to...

I recently decided to get back on the horse and into the saddle of internet dating. Reading a message I had been sent, I decided to reply. Messages flew back and forth, banter, jokes, the usual questions asked and answers replied in the "getting to know you" phase. We decided to swap numbers and when he rang, the conversation started off well.... until Luton's answer to Malcolm X himself decided to preach a sermon I have heard one too many times before. It began with him asking why my voice sounds the way it does. Apparently I sound more like an extra from The Only Way Is Essex than a black girl. My voice is all wrong. It was a bit awkward but I ignored him and tried to steer the conversation back on track, he wasn't having it.  You're vegetarian? So you don't eat chicken?! - He was clearly disgusted.  Rah, you have all those animals? That's some white peoples foolishness!- I should have hung up but I didn't. So if your kids don't se...

Something that is very common in this new millennium is blended families. Step, half, full; even close friends can be classed as family when your own blood abandons or lets you down. Children with more than one partner is a regular occurrence (for both men and women). If you have read my previous blog - Baby Mama  - then you will know that I am one of these women, having 2 children by 2 different men. My children know and understand they have different fathers but as far as they are concerned, they are just sisters. There is no half in the equation. They fight like sisters, joke like sisters and love each other like sisters. They have the same childhood, they have the same family, same experiences and as they grow older, the same memories. Even on the days when they are physically beating each other, screaming and shouting, their relationship with each other is beautiful to me. And it reminds me of how different my relationship is with my own siblings. I am th...

My Mum and her husband have been married for 10 years, together for more than that. It feels strange to call him my step dad as we are very close in age (he is only a few years my senior) but if you were to picture what a good step dad is and does - you would be picturing him. Dave has always been there for my girls and I. They call him Grandad and he proudly lets them. He is involved in every aspect of their lives and his approval means more to them than anyone else's, even mine. He is their only male role model and they couldn't have a better one. It made me so happy when one day,  my eldest daughter said she is going to marry a man exactly like her Grandad- hard working, kind, strong and all about family. Dave is the first person I call when something terrible happens as he always knows the answer. I am a never ending disaster and he has never judged me. In all the years he has been around, Dave has only shouted at me once. One time! When I hit a parked car and drove away, I...

As I am now  in my thirties, I can officially be classed as a cougar. These days we are constantly told that "age ain't nothing but a number" and that you can love whomever you want to as long as they are of a legal age. I have always gravitated towards older men myself but the stigma of an older woman dating a younger man is long gone and hot ladies (cougars, milfs) dating fit young men is pretty much seen as the norm. Now, I know as well as you do that I'm missing the "hot" part of being a cougar; and I've never been called a milf in my life! But I still had a crack at it! And as always it didn't quite work out for me....,., I was 29 talking to "K" who said he was 27. Ok, fair enough I thought. Get involved with some cougar action, why not? Things were going well, we arranged to meet. I was driving up to the designated meeting point and there is no way this boy is 27. He looked like his pictures sure enough and I get that some people...